Lionel Messi: Hype to join the squad, brah.
Let’s list off the obvious reasons for making such a great pick. He has sick flow, he likes keeping it gnarly, he’s fast as shit (in this instance, shit is very fast), he gives great hope to short dudes everywhere (he’s 5′6” – if he’s lucky) and he’s the best player on the best club soccer team in the world. He also starts for the Argentina national team when it comes to international play, and is considered the next Diego Maradona. (Note to non-soccer fans: That’s not an insult. In fact, it’s a ridiculously high compliment.) His nickname is The Flea, and he is better than you at life.
His goals are absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know if these are the best examples, but here’s a compilation video. This goal, against Getafe, might be one of the sickest runs I’ve ever seen.
His girlfriend is quite attractive (no shit, right?) and she’s older (22 to Messi’s 21). She’s from his native Argentina, and if he can lock down a girl like this from half a world away, you know he’s doing work.
His club team just locked down a most impressive treble (Copa del Rey, La Liga and the Champions League) and he’s almost certainly a lock to win World Player of the Year. With this fast little dude patrolling the outfield with The Temptations and whoever I choose to play in left, there is no way I get scored on. You know, or I wouldn’t get scored on if there were any rules to this game.
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